Lauren's Journal

1. FOUR LETTER WORD: Lost
2. BOY NAME: Lucifer
3. GIRL NAME: Lorelai
4. OCCUPATION: Lion tamer
5. A COLOUR: Lapis Lazuli
6. SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Lollerskates
7. BEVERAGE: Lukewarm Liquor
8. FOOD: Lamb chops (only proven way to stop the Song That Never Ends)
9. SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Lipstick
10. A PLACE: Last in Line
11. REASON FOR BEING LATE: Lost my temper in traffic and leveled an entire city block
12. THING YOU SHOUT: LOVE TO LOVE YOU TOO, BABY

Bethany LaJoie





Ellen Ripley





Calvin Singer

I am a freak and I enjoyed this immensely. Fuck all'a'y'all.

Your babies. I eat them. AHORA!

My tattoo is just laaaame. It hates me.

No one likes a gay predator. This is a fact.

That chick from Top Chef is pretty crazily hot.

The chick that just got kicked off Rock of Love is hotter.

Dear Glasses,

Where the fuck did you go? How do you do this? It's not funny. I've got shit I'd like to see, you know.

Love,
Lauren

OH HOLY FUCKING SHITCHRIST WHY DID I JUST FUCKING CATCH MY WHOLE FINGER ON MY NIPPLE? FUCK. THAT HURT LIKE A GREAT BIG BITCH ON STEROIDS.

In other news, I'm really, really, really procrastinating now. I'm breaking out the big procrastinato-guns.

Edit: As a result of taking anatomy, I hate every inch of the human body. Yes, each and every SINGLE inch has found its own special little place in my personal hell. Even the ones that have in the past, still do, and will continue to produce multiple orgasms. Even those have become the bane of my fucking existence.

No one likes an anything fossa scapula at 6 AM. I realize this. But oh my God NO.

Further Edit: I really hate that I have writer's block most of the time, but when I have Bio to do... hoo boy. I could write you a novel overnight.

Still More Editing: Oliver is really really goddamn cute, even if he is a total fuckface. Just FYI. I thought it was pertinent.

A few public service announcements. That's right, guys. Get ready for it.

My dog is, how shall we say, fucking retarded. Here's why. I just got back from Tim Horton's, and I could see it in his eyes- he wanted to submissive pee. I could fucking feel it in my fucking bones. So I was trying my absolute best to lure him off my BED before he did it. What happened? Well, I don't think I need to give a blow-by-blow, but one corner of my sheet was already wet when it went into the washer. Not okay.

Then, he got back into my room and promptly started chasing Mia (my cat). ( long fucking ramble about Sid, Mia, and why my cats are each crazy )

However, he doesn't always get it, so he started chasing her. In the process, Ollie ran into a cardboard box, and it fell on him. He ran out of the room yipping, then ran back in to hide under me. And now every time he looks in the box's direction, he growls. What a fuckhead.

In other news, I was so dehydrated Tuesday they had to hook me up to a fucking IV, and I still feel like crap, and I'm kind of pissed about this happening right before my Bio exam. Fuck all'y'all, this is a lousy week.

Praying for Spring Break to hurry itself up

Break for funny: I was just about to type in murderlicious as my mood, and guess what, there it was, popping up, already in allcaps. Oh LJ, it's like you know me.

I just got back from a (not so quick) joyride, and I had an awkward encounter with an uppity deer. Here's what happened.

Me: *drives slowly down road*
Deer: *looks up into the headlights*
-We both stop and stare at each other-
Me: Deer? What are you doing here?
Deer: What am I doing here? I could ask you the same question!
Me: Huh, well! I live here!
Deer: Well, so do I!
Me: What? Where?
Deer: See those trees right up there? That's where I sleep. I was just getting breakfast!
Me: Yes, well, I live right in that house, right there! So!
Deer: Uh. Yes.
Me: Yeahhh...
-Moment of uncomfortable silence passes in imaginary conversation-
Deer: I think I'll just pop off then to check on my fur-lined dent in the ground...
Me: Yeah, I'm just gonna go see how the puppy's doing inside...
-We both wander back to our respective homes, feeling as if we've just made some kind of egregious social faux pas-

...For anyone that don't understand why this happened: this is what comes to pass when you try to question to a local, of any species, at 5 AM.

oh jesus everloving fucking christ this is utter bullshit. No, I don't want you here. Yes, I mean you. The door's right over there, GTFO.

kthx<3don'tletthedoorhityawherethegoodlordsplityaDIE.

I retook the test, because I'm a whore.

I'm having trouble with my stupid Sky High fic, because thoughts of a Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fic are now running around in my head and knocking into the Warren/Layla (don't like it, don't read it, yadda yadda). Of course, that means that my HP fic is on hold too, and don't even get me started on the Firefly fic whose chapter disappeared in my computer. That was a truly sad day.

WHATEVER SRSLY GUYS

So I'm starting a new journal. Friend me if you feel the need.